The Rocking Chair

So I found a typed journal entry. You know the time you actually sat down and wrote what you were thinking at a pivotal moment in your self-discovery. This was part of it for me.

I want to reach

Today I was told that it is normal at this point in life to go completely and utterly batty. Yes, in fact we are expected at certain points in our life to not make sense to be completely irrational, and to feel as if we are truly on the other side of the looking glass. 
 Amazingly so, this expectation was supposed to make me feel better about the whole experience. I don’t think anyone realizes that unless you don’t comprehend that you have gone off your rocker, you are going to be fighting to stay firmly seated on its cushion. 
 Another interesting phenomenon at this juncture in life is that believe it or not everyone has an opinion on how to best fall off your rocker, or what is the most comfortable way to land when you finally hit the ground. Seriously, I did not realize that this could be classified as an Olympic sport upon which the rules change depending on who has condescended to grace you with their divine presence. In all the scores I have received in the last 9 months few if any took into account that gracefully holding on for dear life might constitute a greater effort than simply accepting what is considered to be inevitable. So as you lift your score card today, I realize that my artistry is atrocious, my logic seemingly absurd, and my form leaves much to be desired. 
 In truth, as I turn away I will take your score into perspective and at least smile in spite of myself. I will not apologize for not answering all your questions, for refusing to tell you that your perspective will become my mantra, nor for falling the only way I know how to. 
 This is just a warning that you will need to get over it, move on, and realize that you have the very same right to disregard every written word on this page, or whisper that you hear. May you love your own descent one way or the other. I harbor you no ill will nor malice, and thank you for the commentary that makes me at least realize that my rocker still exists whether I am on it or not. Recipe of the day: Gelatin dessert- Open box, boil water combine and stir for a few minutes. Add ice, then let set, or not. This is the one food that I can rely on to not come immediately back up. No matter my state of mind, heart, or physical condition, there truly is always some wiggle room for jello.- March 17 2018.


Looking back, I love this post. It was one of the many days that I just was done caring what other people thought, and was willing to say that I wasn't great at things at the time, but I wasn't about to give up due to some absent criticism. 

I have now adopted the saying that we are ALL crazy, it is merely a matter of finding a group that has a crazy that harmonizes with your own.

In the times when we each feel beaten down by the opinions and reactions of others, give yourself a little grace and a lot of space. You may not be what you are hoping for YET, but that doesn't mean ever. It is simply not right now in this circumstance. 

If you are wondering on the circumstance of the entry, I had been dealing with extreme pain off and on (mostly on) for months. The mental gymnastics to continue were excruciating, let alone the physical actions of pushing onward. 

It is 18 months later, and the pain is gone. My gratitude is boundless. Things that I thought would be forever impossible are now reality. Please if you are doubting where you are, don't give up. It will pass. You are still becoming even if you are doubting the pace, the direction is true. 

With all the love I can send you, in every and any circumstance. You are full of light. Even a dim candle fights off the pressing shadows. 

Smile and Savour-

There is beauty in being carved, by a force greater than yourself.

Is is not Was

The English language is a remarkable amalgam of many other languages, and experiences.
Because of that many things that sometimes don't make sense from the outside. Colloquialisms, such as, "you drive me crazy" or "Keep your pants on", may not make sense to someone unfamiliar with our culture, or language.

I will admit that even moving from the west to the Southeast was a jolt to the system in how things were said and what was expected. It was amazing the drastic change of pace. The speed of speech is even slower than where I grew up. Not because they are slow minded, but because that is the pace of life. Who knew that 'chill-uns' are children? I thought the insides of a turkey were playing in the yard during the Thanksgiving dinner.

Our language defines us in so many ways. Others make assessments of, our education, intelligence, background, family, and history. Our vocabulary, our use of punctuation words, the very way we say different syllables remark on who we are, and what we came from. Yes, this is a good thing. Having something that denotes who we are, gives people who don't know us a way to connect, and associate some commonality.

Personally, I LOVE the etiology of words. Where did that word come from? How was it used? What are its roots, and how has it evolved through time, and culture?

When I look into what a word means, I discover hidden meanings, begin to understand what I read on a new level, and get acquainted with the culture of wherever the word came from.

For instance do you know what the word: effulgent means?

Effulgent comes from the Latin ex meaning "out" and fulgere meaning "to shine". A light that is effulgent, shines out or radiates. A personality that is effulgent radiates warmth and goodness. When you're in love, you have an effulgent or radiant look, as though sunlight were shining from your eyes.-- www.vocabulary.com

This would contrast to the word reffulgent.

This is similar yet the light that seems to start from the shining object is know to only reflect such light. 

But if I use either of these words in daily conversation, I would likely be considered an elitist, snobbish, or trying to condescend to those I am speaking to. Most of the time, that is not the case.  Sometimes, there is a real reason to use a word that actually says what you mean.

Language even testifies of the power of the Atonement.

Yes, I am not kidding.

Let's start here. It is interesting to me that in many languages to go from the present tense to the past tense of a word, a simple ending adaptation is added, or adapted.
 
  Jump--> Jumped   Run-->Ran etc.

There is a logical transformation of the base word to past tense. This is true of everything but the past tense of

 is--> was.

Every language I have researched this far, is does not logically transform to was. 

The Light of the Son changes everything.

Please send me any information confirming, or disproving my theory.

So far I have feedback on , English, French, Spanish, Korean, and German, are similar.

Is is not Was.

The Atonement is not logical. What was does not mean what something is. The change of being from past state to present state is a miracle.

You will be given the power to become who, what, and where you need to be because of the Grace you have access to through Christ our Lord.

He doesn't need it to make sense, He just needs you to accept the gift of becoming more. You will be given strength, that you don't have. You will be given understanding that isn't yours. You will reject those things that once defined you, but held you back from being the person you dream of being.
He is the difference between fue--> es. ( Spanish)

So enjoy the ride first. Then appreciate that when you reunite with someone you haven't seen in a while, is hopefully not the exact same person you knew. They have grown. They have become. They are Divine.

Smile and savour the sweet and the bitter.

Who Served Him?

In reading the New Testament this year, it has demonstrated to me throughout that Christ honored the women in
His life. The customs of the times, certainly ensured that one’s mother was to be respected, but not much beyond
that was put forth in the law. Yet the key I found is  in Luke 22: 26-27

But ye shall not be so: but he that is greatest among you, let him be as the younger; and he that is chief, as he that
doth serve.

For whether is greater, he that sitteth at meat, of he that serveth? Is not he that sitteth at meat?
But I am among you as he that serveth.

In the days of Christ, his chosen 12 were not those who were given opportunities to serve their master. Odd? He
served them. He taught them. He washed them. He nurtured their spirits. He gave them drink. 

So who did He, the greatest of all, allow to serve Him? 

It was the women in His life. Martha provides a place of rest, and fed Him and his friends.. Mary
birthed, raised, nurtured and helped Him understand who he was. Mary washed His feet and a

anointed Him. The miracle of the loaves and fishes in His country was begun by  some concerned woman, who packed a lunch for the 13.

Christ honored the women in His life, by allowing them to be great through their loving service.
Most are unnamed followers, who just wanted to give Him some small comfort along the path to
Gethsemane. 

Though Martha is often ridiculed for not stopping and listening when the Master was in her
home, it was her home in Bethany, that He chose to rest during His final holy week on earth. 

Christ sees those tiny miracles His devoted earthly angels perform each day. That of giving hugs,
smiles, patience, time, help, and love to His flock. We can choose to be His hands, HIs voice, His
comfort, His help, to all who come within our reach. By doing so we help others find Him. 

I am astounded to reflect and realize that the ultimate witness of Christ having power over death, came when those who loved Him came to serve. Do we take the time to recognize what the spirit whispers to our hearts, when we order our steps according to Our Father's hope, instead of our own desires. 

As we set our homes, our circles, and our lives as a place of peace and rest for others; they can
hear and feel His words, “Go in Peace."

Then we will realize what Elder Neal A Maxwell meant:

When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire
or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the
peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles
and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf
of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still
be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time. The women of God
know this.

It is in the little things of life that greatness is lived. 

Small gestures, give way to massive miracles.

Smile and Savor.

The Why Before the How, Because of the What

WARNING the punctuation, and capitalization in the below is NOT standard. If this will drive you crazy,  STOP HERE                     




For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” —Matthew 6:21


It is interesting how the world is so filled with tasks, that I get behind in the why of the task. For instance, Why do I like to keep my house clean, and vacuum more than is rational? Well, I love my dog, and am not ready to part with him. However, my primary job description right now is home-maker. Why? Because I want my family to have a safe place to land. Why? Because I love them dearly, and see glimpses of the crazy that is going on outside my walls, that I control. SO I vacuum. 

With the Why in my pocket, it stops becoming of  the 'have to' kind of task, but I 'want to' kind of task. How well I choose to vacuum, is directly influenced by my Why. When I am engaged in the Why I take more care to get ALL the hair, not just doing the busy areas. 

I think the question of Why? directly impacts our every facet of life. It is far easier to follow an exercise plan, or project when your Why? is something that is part of your core values.  The trick is that until it becomes a part of your core values, most of the time the task no matter how great of import, or necessary for your well-being is not going to get the attention it needs. The task at hand will be one of drudgery, and muddling through instead of filled with the joy of becoming.  

I read a story earlier this year of a faithful woman who made bread for her family. It was not he fact that she made bread for her family in this crazy busy day and age that made me happy. Nor, did it make me think why I am not making my own bread. What made me happy about her story, was that with each step of the process. The bathing of the yeast in her mind= the baptism of Christ. The adding of oil= the anointing of His feet by the woman who was considered a sinner. My favorite part though was that as she kneaded the bread dough for 10 minutes, each turn she tried to think of things that she was grateful for.  

Our lives are full of tasks. With Pinterest, we find that some of these we have been doing 'wrong' for many years. It doesn't take a life hack to find gratitude in the everyday, simplicity of the task. When studying the miracles of our Savior I was surprised to find that in the scholars' recounting of the tales it was mentioned more than once, that the existence of a withered hand, or a blind eye was just as much a miracle as the fixing of the afflicted person. Why? because everything is a gift. The fact that we have been created to live on a beautiful diverse planet with beauty in so many forms is astounding.

It has come to my attention, that through the years, the mundane chores of life have started to bring me more and more joy. Scrubbing something can bring satisfaction, because it is quiet time to contemplate, and discern. Folding laundry, while not my favorite, gives me time to step back and breathe, when dealing with a tricky situation. The Why? of my life has been instrumental in this transformation. Trust me when I was young only the carrot dangling on the end of the stick convinced me that something extra around the house needed to be done. There are still jobs that I don't enjoy, but having a purpose in doing them allows even the yuckiest mess, to be more tolerable.  


Sometimes, it seems like finding the answer to the what is worth the cost no matter the consequences of the How. If you are familiar with physic you will recognize the natural law discerned by Sir Isaac Newton.  Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  For those in the choosing years, realize the fact that as you are making good choices that bring light to you and others good job. Remember that the how you get to the end matters more than the result of getting to the end. The process of the journey develops our hearts, and might into something more than it was when it began. Even if the hard of the how takes longer than those around you; be willing to become so that your Why is still firmly in place when you reach your goal.  

BTW I still don't like waking in the middle of the night, nor cleaning up after the various sickness that sometimes descends upon my home. Nor do I necessarily like halting all my plans to attend to whatever has come up. BUT it is better, more doable, and doesn't cause any bitterness when I remember my Why. 

May we each find our WHY. That tomorrow's challenges may seem more joy than, torment.  

Call it Magic, or Witching...The art of Womanhood

Recipe: Rachel's English Toffee- Candy is magic just watch what heat can do to sugar.
1 cup butter 
1 1/3cup white sugar
1 Tbs. corn syrup
3 Tbs. water
pinch of salt
Combine above in a medium sauce pan at medium high heat- no smaller than 2 quarts. Stir to combine then place candy thermometer on the side and watch the magic happen. You will be boiling this mixture up to 300 degrees f. So take your time to get a pan prepped.  On a baking sheet with sides, place a silicon baking mat (ungreased), or a layer of tin foil/ parchment (greased). Rough chop your 1/2 to 1 cup nuts of choice- it is whatever you like so make them good. These can be toasted in a pan if you wish, or in the microwave if you would like them to be a little more prominent in the finished result. Get out 1 cup of chocolate chips, and put it to the side. I prefer semi sweet or dark, but milk is fine if that is what you like. 
When the candy is approaching 300 swirl the pan to spread the caramelization, once it looks like a brown paper bag, remove from the heat, our over nuts on prepared pan, dot with chocolate and let cool. The end. Yum


I never realized until I became a mother, how much women create every day. Knowing that men live in this world too, and have to make their portion work, I am sure they engage in a form of creation as well. However, I have no perspective on this, so you are in for why girls have been named witches from the evolution of society beyond the family unit.

I was snuggling my little man this morning, before the trees' shadows reappeared, and found it amazing that he believes so deeply in my power to protect him, that he fell asleep. As a mom I have been attributed the powers of creating a world that would be unrecognizable beyond the walls of my home. It is one where potions are made and administered to heal and comfort (from hot chocolate to cough syrup). Vapors from a humidifier calm a cough through the night. Stuffed animals have names and personalities. Bandages of words, and lullabies brace my little ones from, tears, and nightmares.

So where does a woman learn how to create the magic that surrounds her?

Have you ever been around someone who draws you in with each phrase? Making you believe in yourself, in your goodness, and the greatness that is still being nurtured in your soul. This is what leaders do. This is what Christ did. What He begs us to learn how to do in this life to help lift and pull His children along, that He may ransom them.

How can we learn how to lift, carry, and create in the way that will change the world? We start with one choice. The first choice we make every morning, the first choice we make when confronted by difficulty. IT is the choice to be a hero, reframe a situation, to be happy, and to create the reality that will actually benefit someone in this every perilous world.  We do this when we choose to be happy. We do this when we choose to not retaliate, or react to the hard situations stare back at us with seething eyes.

NOT EASY.

But we have each seen it. It is in the grocery store in the check out line, as someone is far more patient than they should be. It is discovered in the smile of the friend in the midst of his/her own Gethsemane. It is in the small remembrance left by the family who has a budget that is already taxed on both ends.  So how do they each do it? They choose to focus away from themselves.  The farther the focus is away from the self, the more likely the person is able to create magic in their every encounter.

But why?

Magic is not the neglect of the lens by which which the world is seen. Most magic occurs when a situation is put in the correct light, from correct angle, and a simple willingness to believe.
So first laugh. Find the humor in yourself, your life, and be willing to allow others to enjoy the comic moment with you.

Second, listen to the good intentions your beautiful mind and heart put before you.  Camille Spencer said, "Never repress a generous thought."  Why? Because those thoughts will put you in the path of those who need you, and will help you to reflect the light that is in your eyes.  What does light do?  It brings things into perspective, and allows you to see that you just participated in a momentous miracle. Thus, you will understand and gain confidence in your ability to change the world and be willing to participate in the creating of magic.

Third, pay attention. Most magic doesn't come from a lack of practice. Watch those who draw others in . Watch how they listen, praise, and consider what is being said. They are invested in the engagement of thoughts, and words. They aren't trying to figure out how they can out shine the person in the spotlight, but asking real questions. They are putting forth the effort to understand, not just take up space and breathe air ( a pretty lame existence from which anyone would contemplate the purpose of life). Because they have seen magic they don't need to participate in puffing out their chests and displaying their colors ( there is a time and place for that), but take time to appreciate the colors and patterns before them. In turn, this creates magic. The confidence in another to go out and participate in their dreams, realities, and future. Because they have been recognized for what they are. An absolutely incredible being. Who will maybe approach life a little less fearfully, because they were listened to, smiled at, or admired for that critical moment they needed to continue on their epic adventure of life.

Christmas

When I was a little girl, I knew very early the truth about Santa and Christmas and the whole thing. Still I was asked to sit on the lap of an older gentleman in a red suit and tell him what I would like for Christmas.
                  BTW this tradition is kind of weird in this day and age that kids still are asked to sit on a                     stranger's lap and ask for things. I love tradition, but the fact that this one has survived the                   "Me Too", the scandals across media and politics, and everything else that has been spat at                    by public opinion; is either amazing or a testament to our greed as a society. Maybe it our                    hope that the spirit of hope, and giving that is embraced by St. Nick is still alive for one                        month of the year, even when the other 11 months it seems to be in hibernation. (Please                        forgive my snarkiness, I have lost a lot of faith in the fate of humanity without Heavenly                      Father this year.

In my family, my mom is notorious for finding Christmas all year long. This is not a bad thing per se, but always made the answer to Santa's question more of a, "Whatever you want to give me." far more practical than an object. Why? Because my parents went all out for Christmas and we got presents that we hadn't even thought possible for Christmas. Asking for something they hadn't already hidden away just seemed greedy.

But one year, when I was 10 or 11 I asked Santa for something....fresh flowers. Because I was a middle child, an oldest girl, and lots of responsibility fell on me. I just wanted even that image of Santa to not recognize me as one of the 'girls' or the 'Picketts'. I needed to be Rachel. For one moment in time, I wanted Santa/ my parents to think of me, not as a part but as a person. Guess what? the flowers came. Christmas Eve they were delivered and everything. I put the beautiful bouquet of purples and pinks in the entry way.(I did find it odd that it was not Christmas colors, but that was my mind back then).

Thus, my plea for all of us this year. Recognize one person everyday for the rest of the year. Treat someone like a human, with hopes and dreams, not just an employee, a child, a colleague, or another member of some group we participate in. See each other, for the glorious creatures that they are. Realize that even the darkest countenance once had light, and hopes, and faith in something greater than themselves.  Allow them to be as different as the snowflakes that are falling around the country at this time of year.

Will this make a difference? Yes. It may not change them, but it will at least let them feel seen in the hectic rush of the Christmas season. I can suggest it will change you. It will get you off your phone in the checkout line. It will encourage you to smile, to nod, to ask questions, and to be a little more kind.

Merry Christmas.

Lessons from the Night Sky

As the weather turns cooler, the night sky seems to be penetrate the cold a little better. Maybe this is just my perception, or maybe the heat of the summer diminishes the lights just a bit. No matter, I love when the jackets have to come out for an evening walk, because it means that the heavens seem aglow with the constellations smiling down on me. 

My kids were watching a show this weekend. In this episode the heroes they had to reflect the available light to dispel the darkness. As I considered this principle, I thought how true. Elder Hales sated in the May 2002 Ensign:

“Light and darkness cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Light dispels darkness. When light is present, darkness is vanquished and must depart. More important, darkness cannot conquer light unless the light is diminished or departs.”

So if we take this principle, and put it into practice in our lives, we will seek light. One concept that has been impressed upon my mind from my early years is how we don't need to know how to produce light yet. Like the moon, we can be effective in all we are called to do by learning to be a better mirror, a better reflector of Christ. I love this picture in my mind, because I can see that as I remove dirt from my various parts, I can be better at reflecting Him in all I do. But even if I just let Him help me clean small parts, I am still better at fighting the darkness than before. This makes me happy. Perfection is not necessary to be contributing, and thank goodness for that. 

Next I look to the stars. These tiny fragments in the firmament seem really quite insignificant by any standard when it comes to illuminating anything. Nonetheless, when used with skill, experience, and knowledge, they can help guide through any night. Mariners from the beginning have used the stars to guide them to safety. It is truly a matter that small and simple things can confound the wisdom of men.

In Alma 37:6 it says:   Now ye may suppose that this is ^afoolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by ^bsmall and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.

For me the stars help me to remember to not discount those easy thing in life that might not make total sense at first. It is okay for me not to understand the rotations of the earth, the process of creation, or string theory; but I am expected to use and put into practice what i do know for the betterment of others. Any constellation is of little worth if it is not constantly giving light to others, no matter the number of lumens it produces. That tiny contribution dispels darkness just a little more; thus, making the world a little brighter and better.

Finally, the sun. Man would have never thought to create, fire, lanterns, or light bulbs if we did not have the Son/ sun to emulate. I put both homonyms because they are both applicable. Personally, I don't believe any mortal stroke of genius is not the fruit of being in touch with the divine.  Nor would man have contemplated being able to brighten the world without seeing the dawn break each morning. The light of the sun is gives life to all things through its energy. As does our Savior Jesus Christ give us life. The brightness of the sun is that we can not behold it with the mortal eyes. How glorious must the creator of that light be in person? 

Now the days are shorter. The leaves are falling or gone. It is apparent we yearn for every ray of sunlight just a bit more, to warm our hearts and souls each day. When doing those small and simple things, don't get discouraged. Remember, no matter your output it will make a difference.

Smile and Savour the good in life.

Brownie