Marvel… no not the franchise. More the act of wondering, finding awe, or reverence in an event or
observation. The curiosity to look into something deeper because of its unique standing. Or my
favorite, seeing the hand of God through His power and miracles. 

This is my goal for 2020. Last year didn’t play out the way I imagined, but it taught me many things.
First and foremost, trusting that not all bad things are bad, and not all blessings are easy. It has forced
me to become once again. There are two choices in that outcome. Seeing as missing the mark from
last year, or measuring the actual amount of change achieved. 

IF it makes no difference to you, I am going to focus on the measurable changes. 

There is always a choice. There is a choice to dismay at the rain, or praise the heavens for the gift of
water. No one gets to choose every circumstance, or situation. Each gets to choose happiness or
drudgery. You can choose to see the darkness or the stars. I need the stars. I need to see Orion
standing watch over my home. 

There is an odd heaviness heading into this new year. One that has tears masked well behind years
of practice. One that finds quiet moments of worship, and car rides with the music too loud to help
dull the potency. It aches more than I should admit. 

Quite frankly, I am far more blessed than I ever imagined being. There is more joy abounding daily
than one like me cold hope for. So this my year to Marvel is one to seek to see the good in all things.
Even an attempt to see His power in my life to create something of everlasting worth. Maybe by the end
of this solar cycle, to even stand in awe of where I am.

Today, I have kids who have their own challenges, but are divine. They work hard to use their strengths,
and tame their fears. I am so proud of them. Even when they crumble because it was a hard day, I am
proud because they only shirk when  it is over. Each of them has a deep courage to face the word, even
when it hurts. Not easy for anyone involved, but a miraculous process of evolution of each soul. 

Today, I work at eating healthy, caring for my family, my home, myself, and my faith. Finding that it is
almost always small and simple things that create real change. I am so grateful for prayer and study. The grounding and gains that are accomplished through tweaking a day, a week, and a year to produce a different outcome. 

This year I am seeking to see miracles, heavenly love notes, acknowledge the divinity of others, and
writing something down about it everyday. I am trying to instill the meekness necessary to observe
the power from on high working in my life. Even if that means, that I am given a few hours to sleep,
so I can try to do it better the next day. 

Marvel. There it is. A small word, with a new focus for the new year.

Smile and Savor

Creating my Own "I am..."

How do you finish the phrase, “I am….”

Have you ever finished that phrase when questioned by another about what you do, or what your interests are.

I am….. what?

We often limit ourselves by meager titles, that have NOTHING to do with what we really are.

Powerful words, “ I am,” that attempt to define the very essence of the being of a complex character. A person who has strengths and weaknesses. A person who has a history and a future. Someone who has both a failures and a great potential for a future.

Yet, in trying to simplify things to comprehensible, we try and deliberately distill all of this into one sentence. I am a Mom. ugh. NO.

Does one sentence do anyone justice? Is this the adult equivalent of asking your favorite color as a process of getting to know a new person?  

It strikes me hard, when I ask someone, “What is their passion?”, “What makes you tic?”, or “What’s your story?”. That people are struck by the fact that I really don’t care what they do for a living, unless it brings deeper meaning to their existence. 

Sometimes I forget in the melee of life that finishing this phrase carelessly can result in a glut of undesirable consequences. What I say is my breath of life. What am I giving life, and meaning to? Do I highlight my success, or my failures? Do I focus on my goals, or do I focus so intently on tasks at hand, that I forget the purpose of being?

Every thought we have, every phrase we speak gives life to what we say. There is a reason names have power. They are the spoken identification of the phrase I am… 

What are you making your name mean to others? Do you make others want to use that name to define goodness, frustration, or evil in their own life? 

How did a benevolent Creator finish this phrase? He didn’t, is the truth. Maybe so that He can be everything we need. If He had finished that phrase with any qualifier, would we be more hesitant to ask for help because that is not His specialty?

When we were coming up with our children’s names there were many disqualified, because of the people we knew who had those names. Ask any school teacher, and they will have very detailed lists of names they like and don’t like, and it has nothing to do with how the name sounds, or feels on your tongue. It is all about what experiences they associate with that word. 

Names have power. How we identify anything gives, not only definition, but the expectation for that object or person. 

When we name call, we actualize that behavior into part of another’s identity. Be careful how you define others with your language. You may give far greater power than what you intend, or demean the diamonds to charcoal.  

Most acknowledge that children are susceptible to name calling. But sometimes I hate admitting that even the tone by which someone speaks to me affects how I respond to people for the rest of the day. We all care how people define us by their words and behavior aimed in our direction.

Caution, is essential.

In this society where so much of our lives is lived looking at, or listening to a microchip; beware of ignoring the social connection all together.

No screen, no matter how incredible the definition gives the same basic feedback as an in person human connection.  Take time to recognize the majesty of humanity around you. There is good, there is truth, and there is complexity all about each of us every day.  

If you want to observe love, witness the mother helping her toddler get through some really big emotions (read tantrum) in public. If you want to see generosity, watch for those who give their time so willingly without compensation. If you want to see beauty, breathe in the wind, the sky, or a simple smile. 

You cast a spell with each sentence you speak. The vocabulary you employ can create chains or freedom for another soul. Your words of gratitude, can solidify the blossoming character of a struggling soul.  Realize you will see what you are looking for in the world around you. Decide, and define where you live by what you pay attention to. 

When you name your state, give room for continual change. Because I am becoming.

Smile and savour the goodness around you.

Brownie

The Rocking Chair

So I found a typed journal entry. You know the time you actually sat down and wrote what you were thinking at a pivotal moment in your self-discovery. This was part of it for me.

I want to reach

Today I was told that it is normal at this point in life to go completely and utterly batty. Yes, in fact we are expected at certain points in our life to not make sense to be completely irrational, and to feel as if we are truly on the other side of the looking glass. 
 Amazingly so, this expectation was supposed to make me feel better about the whole experience. I don’t think anyone realizes that unless you don’t comprehend that you have gone off your rocker, you are going to be fighting to stay firmly seated on its cushion. 
 Another interesting phenomenon at this juncture in life is that believe it or not everyone has an opinion on how to best fall off your rocker, or what is the most comfortable way to land when you finally hit the ground. Seriously, I did not realize that this could be classified as an Olympic sport upon which the rules change depending on who has condescended to grace you with their divine presence. In all the scores I have received in the last 9 months few if any took into account that gracefully holding on for dear life might constitute a greater effort than simply accepting what is considered to be inevitable. So as you lift your score card today, I realize that my artistry is atrocious, my logic seemingly absurd, and my form leaves much to be desired. 
 In truth, as I turn away I will take your score into perspective and at least smile in spite of myself. I will not apologize for not answering all your questions, for refusing to tell you that your perspective will become my mantra, nor for falling the only way I know how to. 
 This is just a warning that you will need to get over it, move on, and realize that you have the very same right to disregard every written word on this page, or whisper that you hear. May you love your own descent one way or the other. I harbor you no ill will nor malice, and thank you for the commentary that makes me at least realize that my rocker still exists whether I am on it or not. Recipe of the day: Gelatin dessert- Open box, boil water combine and stir for a few minutes. Add ice, then let set, or not. This is the one food that I can rely on to not come immediately back up. No matter my state of mind, heart, or physical condition, there truly is always some wiggle room for jello.- March 17 2018.


Looking back, I love this post. It was one of the many days that I just was done caring what other people thought, and was willing to say that I wasn't great at things at the time, but I wasn't about to give up due to some absent criticism. 

I have now adopted the saying that we are ALL crazy, it is merely a matter of finding a group that has a crazy that harmonizes with your own.

In the times when we each feel beaten down by the opinions and reactions of others, give yourself a little grace and a lot of space. You may not be what you are hoping for YET, but that doesn't mean ever. It is simply not right now in this circumstance. 

If you are wondering on the circumstance of the entry, I had been dealing with extreme pain off and on (mostly on) for months. The mental gymnastics to continue were excruciating, let alone the physical actions of pushing onward. 

It is 18 months later, and the pain is gone. My gratitude is boundless. Things that I thought would be forever impossible are now reality. Please if you are doubting where you are, don't give up. It will pass. You are still becoming even if you are doubting the pace, the direction is true. 

With all the love I can send you, in every and any circumstance. You are full of light. Even a dim candle fights off the pressing shadows. 

Smile and Savour-

There is beauty in being carved, by a force greater than yourself.

Is is not Was

The English language is a remarkable amalgam of many other languages, and experiences.
Because of that many things that sometimes don't make sense from the outside. Colloquialisms, such as, "you drive me crazy" or "Keep your pants on", may not make sense to someone unfamiliar with our culture, or language.

I will admit that even moving from the west to the Southeast was a jolt to the system in how things were said and what was expected. It was amazing the drastic change of pace. The speed of speech is even slower than where I grew up. Not because they are slow minded, but because that is the pace of life. Who knew that 'chill-uns' are children? I thought the insides of a turkey were playing in the yard during the Thanksgiving dinner.

Our language defines us in so many ways. Others make assessments of, our education, intelligence, background, family, and history. Our vocabulary, our use of punctuation words, the very way we say different syllables remark on who we are, and what we came from. Yes, this is a good thing. Having something that denotes who we are, gives people who don't know us a way to connect, and associate some commonality.

Personally, I LOVE the etiology of words. Where did that word come from? How was it used? What are its roots, and how has it evolved through time, and culture?

When I look into what a word means, I discover hidden meanings, begin to understand what I read on a new level, and get acquainted with the culture of wherever the word came from.

For instance do you know what the word: effulgent means?

Effulgent comes from the Latin ex meaning "out" and fulgere meaning "to shine". A light that is effulgent, shines out or radiates. A personality that is effulgent radiates warmth and goodness. When you're in love, you have an effulgent or radiant look, as though sunlight were shining from your eyes.-- www.vocabulary.com

This would contrast to the word reffulgent.

This is similar yet the light that seems to start from the shining object is know to only reflect such light. 

But if I use either of these words in daily conversation, I would likely be considered an elitist, snobbish, or trying to condescend to those I am speaking to. Most of the time, that is not the case.  Sometimes, there is a real reason to use a word that actually says what you mean.

Language even testifies of the power of the Atonement.

Yes, I am not kidding.

Let's start here. It is interesting to me that in many languages to go from the present tense to the past tense of a word, a simple ending adaptation is added, or adapted.
 
  Jump--> Jumped   Run-->Ran etc.

There is a logical transformation of the base word to past tense. This is true of everything but the past tense of

 is--> was.

Every language I have researched this far, is does not logically transform to was. 

The Light of the Son changes everything.

Please send me any information confirming, or disproving my theory.

So far I have feedback on , English, French, Spanish, Korean, and German, are similar.

Is is not Was.

The Atonement is not logical. What was does not mean what something is. The change of being from past state to present state is a miracle.

You will be given the power to become who, what, and where you need to be because of the Grace you have access to through Christ our Lord.

He doesn't need it to make sense, He just needs you to accept the gift of becoming more. You will be given strength, that you don't have. You will be given understanding that isn't yours. You will reject those things that once defined you, but held you back from being the person you dream of being.
He is the difference between fue--> es. ( Spanish)

So enjoy the ride first. Then appreciate that when you reunite with someone you haven't seen in a while, is hopefully not the exact same person you knew. They have grown. They have become. They are Divine.

Smile and savour the sweet and the bitter.

Who Served Him?

In reading the New Testament this year, it has demonstrated to me throughout that Christ honored the women in
His life. The customs of the times, certainly ensured that one’s mother was to be respected, but not much beyond
that was put forth in the law. Yet the key I found is  in Luke 22: 26-27

But ye shall not be so: but he that is greatest among you, let him be as the younger; and he that is chief, as he that
doth serve.

For whether is greater, he that sitteth at meat, of he that serveth? Is not he that sitteth at meat?
But I am among you as he that serveth.

In the days of Christ, his chosen 12 were not those who were given opportunities to serve their master. Odd? He
served them. He taught them. He washed them. He nurtured their spirits. He gave them drink. 

So who did He, the greatest of all, allow to serve Him? 

It was the women in His life. Martha provides a place of rest, and fed Him and his friends.. Mary
birthed, raised, nurtured and helped Him understand who he was. Mary washed His feet and a

anointed Him. The miracle of the loaves and fishes in His country was begun by  some concerned woman, who packed a lunch for the 13.

Christ honored the women in His life, by allowing them to be great through their loving service.
Most are unnamed followers, who just wanted to give Him some small comfort along the path to
Gethsemane. 

Though Martha is often ridiculed for not stopping and listening when the Master was in her
home, it was her home in Bethany, that He chose to rest during His final holy week on earth. 

Christ sees those tiny miracles His devoted earthly angels perform each day. That of giving hugs,
smiles, patience, time, help, and love to His flock. We can choose to be His hands, HIs voice, His
comfort, His help, to all who come within our reach. By doing so we help others find Him. 

I am astounded to reflect and realize that the ultimate witness of Christ having power over death, came when those who loved Him came to serve. Do we take the time to recognize what the spirit whispers to our hearts, when we order our steps according to Our Father's hope, instead of our own desires. 

As we set our homes, our circles, and our lives as a place of peace and rest for others; they can
hear and feel His words, “Go in Peace."

Then we will realize what Elder Neal A Maxwell meant:

When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire
or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the
peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles
and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf
of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still
be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time. The women of God
know this.

It is in the little things of life that greatness is lived. 

Small gestures, give way to massive miracles.

Smile and Savor.

The Why Before the How, Because of the What

WARNING the punctuation, and capitalization in the below is NOT standard. If this will drive you crazy,  STOP HERE                     




For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” —Matthew 6:21


It is interesting how the world is so filled with tasks, that I get behind in the why of the task. For instance, Why do I like to keep my house clean, and vacuum more than is rational? Well, I love my dog, and am not ready to part with him. However, my primary job description right now is home-maker. Why? Because I want my family to have a safe place to land. Why? Because I love them dearly, and see glimpses of the crazy that is going on outside my walls, that I control. SO I vacuum. 

With the Why in my pocket, it stops becoming of  the 'have to' kind of task, but I 'want to' kind of task. How well I choose to vacuum, is directly influenced by my Why. When I am engaged in the Why I take more care to get ALL the hair, not just doing the busy areas. 

I think the question of Why? directly impacts our every facet of life. It is far easier to follow an exercise plan, or project when your Why? is something that is part of your core values.  The trick is that until it becomes a part of your core values, most of the time the task no matter how great of import, or necessary for your well-being is not going to get the attention it needs. The task at hand will be one of drudgery, and muddling through instead of filled with the joy of becoming.  

I read a story earlier this year of a faithful woman who made bread for her family. It was not he fact that she made bread for her family in this crazy busy day and age that made me happy. Nor, did it make me think why I am not making my own bread. What made me happy about her story, was that with each step of the process. The bathing of the yeast in her mind= the baptism of Christ. The adding of oil= the anointing of His feet by the woman who was considered a sinner. My favorite part though was that as she kneaded the bread dough for 10 minutes, each turn she tried to think of things that she was grateful for.  

Our lives are full of tasks. With Pinterest, we find that some of these we have been doing 'wrong' for many years. It doesn't take a life hack to find gratitude in the everyday, simplicity of the task. When studying the miracles of our Savior I was surprised to find that in the scholars' recounting of the tales it was mentioned more than once, that the existence of a withered hand, or a blind eye was just as much a miracle as the fixing of the afflicted person. Why? because everything is a gift. The fact that we have been created to live on a beautiful diverse planet with beauty in so many forms is astounding.

It has come to my attention, that through the years, the mundane chores of life have started to bring me more and more joy. Scrubbing something can bring satisfaction, because it is quiet time to contemplate, and discern. Folding laundry, while not my favorite, gives me time to step back and breathe, when dealing with a tricky situation. The Why? of my life has been instrumental in this transformation. Trust me when I was young only the carrot dangling on the end of the stick convinced me that something extra around the house needed to be done. There are still jobs that I don't enjoy, but having a purpose in doing them allows even the yuckiest mess, to be more tolerable.  


Sometimes, it seems like finding the answer to the what is worth the cost no matter the consequences of the How. If you are familiar with physic you will recognize the natural law discerned by Sir Isaac Newton.  Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  For those in the choosing years, realize the fact that as you are making good choices that bring light to you and others good job. Remember that the how you get to the end matters more than the result of getting to the end. The process of the journey develops our hearts, and might into something more than it was when it began. Even if the hard of the how takes longer than those around you; be willing to become so that your Why is still firmly in place when you reach your goal.  

BTW I still don't like waking in the middle of the night, nor cleaning up after the various sickness that sometimes descends upon my home. Nor do I necessarily like halting all my plans to attend to whatever has come up. BUT it is better, more doable, and doesn't cause any bitterness when I remember my Why. 

May we each find our WHY. That tomorrow's challenges may seem more joy than, torment.  

Call it Magic, or Witching...The art of Womanhood

Recipe: Rachel's English Toffee- Candy is magic just watch what heat can do to sugar.
1 cup butter 
1 1/3cup white sugar
1 Tbs. corn syrup
3 Tbs. water
pinch of salt
Combine above in a medium sauce pan at medium high heat- no smaller than 2 quarts. Stir to combine then place candy thermometer on the side and watch the magic happen. You will be boiling this mixture up to 300 degrees f. So take your time to get a pan prepped.  On a baking sheet with sides, place a silicon baking mat (ungreased), or a layer of tin foil/ parchment (greased). Rough chop your 1/2 to 1 cup nuts of choice- it is whatever you like so make them good. These can be toasted in a pan if you wish, or in the microwave if you would like them to be a little more prominent in the finished result. Get out 1 cup of chocolate chips, and put it to the side. I prefer semi sweet or dark, but milk is fine if that is what you like. 
When the candy is approaching 300 swirl the pan to spread the caramelization, once it looks like a brown paper bag, remove from the heat, our over nuts on prepared pan, dot with chocolate and let cool. The end. Yum


I never realized until I became a mother, how much women create every day. Knowing that men live in this world too, and have to make their portion work, I am sure they engage in a form of creation as well. However, I have no perspective on this, so you are in for why girls have been named witches from the evolution of society beyond the family unit.

I was snuggling my little man this morning, before the trees' shadows reappeared, and found it amazing that he believes so deeply in my power to protect him, that he fell asleep. As a mom I have been attributed the powers of creating a world that would be unrecognizable beyond the walls of my home. It is one where potions are made and administered to heal and comfort (from hot chocolate to cough syrup). Vapors from a humidifier calm a cough through the night. Stuffed animals have names and personalities. Bandages of words, and lullabies brace my little ones from, tears, and nightmares.

So where does a woman learn how to create the magic that surrounds her?

Have you ever been around someone who draws you in with each phrase? Making you believe in yourself, in your goodness, and the greatness that is still being nurtured in your soul. This is what leaders do. This is what Christ did. What He begs us to learn how to do in this life to help lift and pull His children along, that He may ransom them.

How can we learn how to lift, carry, and create in the way that will change the world? We start with one choice. The first choice we make every morning, the first choice we make when confronted by difficulty. IT is the choice to be a hero, reframe a situation, to be happy, and to create the reality that will actually benefit someone in this every perilous world.  We do this when we choose to be happy. We do this when we choose to not retaliate, or react to the hard situations stare back at us with seething eyes.

NOT EASY.

But we have each seen it. It is in the grocery store in the check out line, as someone is far more patient than they should be. It is discovered in the smile of the friend in the midst of his/her own Gethsemane. It is in the small remembrance left by the family who has a budget that is already taxed on both ends.  So how do they each do it? They choose to focus away from themselves.  The farther the focus is away from the self, the more likely the person is able to create magic in their every encounter.

But why?

Magic is not the neglect of the lens by which which the world is seen. Most magic occurs when a situation is put in the correct light, from correct angle, and a simple willingness to believe.
So first laugh. Find the humor in yourself, your life, and be willing to allow others to enjoy the comic moment with you.

Second, listen to the good intentions your beautiful mind and heart put before you.  Camille Spencer said, "Never repress a generous thought."  Why? Because those thoughts will put you in the path of those who need you, and will help you to reflect the light that is in your eyes.  What does light do?  It brings things into perspective, and allows you to see that you just participated in a momentous miracle. Thus, you will understand and gain confidence in your ability to change the world and be willing to participate in the creating of magic.

Third, pay attention. Most magic doesn't come from a lack of practice. Watch those who draw others in . Watch how they listen, praise, and consider what is being said. They are invested in the engagement of thoughts, and words. They aren't trying to figure out how they can out shine the person in the spotlight, but asking real questions. They are putting forth the effort to understand, not just take up space and breathe air ( a pretty lame existence from which anyone would contemplate the purpose of life). Because they have seen magic they don't need to participate in puffing out their chests and displaying their colors ( there is a time and place for that), but take time to appreciate the colors and patterns before them. In turn, this creates magic. The confidence in another to go out and participate in their dreams, realities, and future. Because they have been recognized for what they are. An absolutely incredible being. Who will maybe approach life a little less fearfully, because they were listened to, smiled at, or admired for that critical moment they needed to continue on their epic adventure of life.